


Did That Just Happen?

by thatstaceygirl



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Darcy has no idea what she's doing, F/M, Quarter-Life Crisis, Slow Build, WINGING IT, post AOU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2015-08-21
Packaged: 2018-04-06 17:22:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4230408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatstaceygirl/pseuds/thatstaceygirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy Lewis has a fancy new degree, a truly frightening amount of student loan debt, and few options.  The Avengers come to the rescue.</p><hr/><p>8/6/15 : Title change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Darcy had always thought that finally graduating college would be A Big Thing. She'd put it off for so long, traipsing around the planet with Jane, helping her with her research on the Einstein-Whatever Thingies, making sure that the bird-like genius didn't waste away while she was busy trying to unravel the secrets of the universe/find a way to her stupid hot whatever-it-was-she-and-Thor-were. And between helping to save a small town and helping to save _the entire universe_ , she hadn't put a whole lot of thought into finishing those last few credits for her degree. She'd been a little busy.

Then Jane started touring. Lecturing. Not doing research. And, shocker, an astrophysicist who isn't actively researching doesn't exactly need a research assistant, even one she still thinks is an intern and, for the record, still isn't paying. So when Jane went off to Barcelona, Milan, Budapest, Darcy went home.

She reenrolled in Culver, got the last of her credits to graduate cum laude and then... She was free. She was a bona fide grown up with an (admittedly unorthodox) education and a truly crippling amount of student loan debt. The only real question she had about her future was the toughest one of all to answer: What the hell was she supposed to do now? 

The solution to her quarter-life crisis came to her via Jane, during a Girl Time Catch Up call. Usually those calls were Jane complaining about her new personal assistant or science babbling, with the occasional humblebrag about all the incredible Asgardian-style nookie she was getting from Thor. Not that Darcy, in the midst of a drought since she and Ian had talked about the few kisses they'd shared and agreed that it was a heat of the moment thing, was jealous or anything. She liked Thor a lot and she had grown to love Jane like a socially inept sibling... She just really didn't need to know about all the things he could do with his hammer (and she sure as hell wasn't talking about Mew Mew).

"I was talking to Pepper-"

"Wait. Pepper? Janey, I don't think you're supposed to be conversing with spices. When was the last time you slept?"

"Not pepper. Pepper."

"Yeah, that doesn't clarify anything."

"Pepper, as in Potts."

"As in CEO of Stark Industries?"

"Yes. So anyways-"

"No no, I have more questions about this Pepper situation. Since when do you just _casually_ talk to Pepper Potts?"

"We exchanged numbers. In case."

Jane didn't need to continue. Darcy knew what the 'in case' situations were. "Okay, fine. You may continue."

"Thank you. Stop interrupting me. So , _as I was saying_ , Pepper called to tell me about Thor heading off to Asgard again and she mentioned that Tony was- or is, I'm not too sure about that part- thinking about scaling back his participation in the whole Avengers thing."

"Whoa. Did you just tell me that Iron Man is quitting?"

"I didn't say that."

"You said scaling back."

"Scaling back doesn't mean quitting."

"It totally means quitting."

"Will you stop interrupting me please?" Darcy could hear the frustration building in Jane's voice, so she decided to keep quiet. "Hello?"

"You _said_ to stop interrupting you."

"Darcy..."

"Okay, fine. I'm stopping now."

"Thank you. Now, what was I saying?"

Darcy grinned into the phone. "You were telling me that your new BFF Pepper Potts was telling you about how Iron Man is retiring."

"... Why do I put up with you?"

"You love me."

"You know, I'm starting to think that's not actually the case here."

"It totally is. So what did Pepper tell you?"

"Oh! Yes. She was telling me that Tony was looking for a sort of on-site remote assistant for a project he was working on. It sounded like some sort of server farm when she was describing it. And I know you're still looking for work, so I mentioned your name-"

"Wait."

“Wait?”

“What?”

“What what?”

“Why did you do that?”

“What what are you talking about, Darcy?”

“Why did you mention my name to Pepper Potts?”

“I was getting to that, you know.”

“I needed a minute to absorb the fact that I am now someone who exists in Pepper Potts’ world, even if it’s only as a name. Continue.”

“You are so weird.”

“Thank you.”

“ _As I was saying. Again._ I mentioned your name and your talent with computers and she’s interested.”

“ARE YOU JOKING?”

“OH MY GOD, WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?”

“YOU HAD BETTER BE JOKING, JANE REGINALD FOSTER.”

“...That’s not my middle name. It’s not even close to my middle name.”

“I know. I drew a blank. Reginald felt right.”

“I know I just told you that you’re weird, but I feel like I should reiterate this.”

“I’m not thanking you twice, Jane.”

“That’s fine. I’m going text you Pepper’s business information. She said to call her tomorrow and set up an appointment.”

“And that’s just that? I just casually call Pepper Potts’ office and make an appointment for an interview or something?”

“That’s generally how these things work, yes.”

“This is going to be a disaster. I can already tell.”

“It’s going to be fine! _You_ are going to be fine. Pepper’s going to love you.”

“I thought this job was for Tony Stark.”

“It is. But Pepper Potts-”

“Basically runs the world, got it.”

“I wouldn’t say the world. More like Tony’s world.”

“I don’t know what’s scarier- that you call Tony Freaking Stark by his first name or that you’re pimping me out to his girlfriend.”

“Both is probably the right choice here.”

“I think you’re right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was, like, 90% phone call. But it felt like the right way to set it up.
> 
> Unbeta'd, as usual. Any mistakes? All me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay in posting this. Family members moved, we're selling my late father-in-law's house and dealing with that, and it's been an all around crazy month-ish. 
> 
> Again, this seems like it's 90% dialogue. Maybe that's how this story will be told? IDEK, I'm just the monkey banging on the typewriter here.

“Is this my new babysitter?”

That was Darcy’s first introduction to Tony Freaking Stark. Him asking if she was his babysitter while she sweat her way through an interview with Pepper Fucking Potts, trying her hardest not to fidget every time Pepper asked her a question. 

"This is Darcy Lewis." Pepper was elegant and charming even when she was gently chastising people. Darcy wasn't positive she was actually human. Real humans had flaws and Pepper Fucking Potts was as close to perfect as you could get. "Miss Lewis, this is Tony Stark."

Darcy rose and tried to discreetly wipe her sweaty palms on her skirt before offering her hand but Tony waved her off, flopping inelegantly into the second chair before Pepper's desk. "I don't like being handed things."

"Handed things... Like hands?"

"Especially hands."

Oookay. She was going to have to add 'eccentric' to the list of Stark's epithets. Maybe he was a germaphobe. She wasn't going to judge even if she was then in the awkward position of being the only person standing.

"Lewis... Lewis?" Tony narrowed his eyes at Pepper, brows pulling together. "Why do I know that name?"

"Miss Lewis interned for Dr. Jane Foster on her work the-" 

"Einstein-Rosen Bridge." Tony turned in his seat, pulling his sunglasses from his face. "You're the helper monkey for Thor's lady love?"

"That's me." And sadly accurate.

Stark didn't try to hide the way his eyes raked over her body. Whatever, Darcy was used to it. At least he was slightly more respectful about it than most guys. His eyes didn't stay anywhere overly long. "What the hell are you doing here? Shouldn't you be off ripping holes through the fabric of space?"

Darcy cleared her throat, buying herself a moment to choose her plan of action. With Ms. Potts, she knew she'd been polite but obviously nervous. The nerves thing was now well over 9000 with the addition of actual genius Tony Stark, but she knew from his many, many television interviews that he appreciated a healthy amount of snark. “As it turns out, you can’t pay student loans with astronomical phenomena.”

"Imagine that. Financial institutions wanting _actual_ currency."

"As opposed to the imaginary currency they've been using since the stock market crash? Yeah, I find the irony there amusing as well. I can already see the freak out that would happen if everyone started using that sh-" _Don't say shit, don't say shit,_ "-stuff to pay their debts."

"Disorder. Chaos."

"Dogs and cats living together. Mass hysteria."

When Tony laughed at her sly _Ghostbusters_ reference, Darcy knew she had him. "Murray? You're going to Murray me in the middle of your audition?"

"Interview," Pepper corrected with a slight shake of her head. 

"I just upgraded her." Tony slapped a hand on Pepper's desk, then pushed himself up. He was a lot taller in person than he looked on TV. "Shtuff?"

Darcy shrugged, grinning. "You know what? I'm owning it."

"Good call, kid." Tony headed toward the door, turning and walking backwards about halfway there. "You coming, Lewis?"

Darcy turned toward Pepper, eyes wide. "Should I be?"

Pepper nodded, the corner of her mouth ticking up in the sort of smile that only someone who had spent their life caring for an eccentric genius could pull off. "Go ahead. He'll want to see what you can do."

Darcy figured that was meant to be reassuring and for most people it probably would have been, but it just scared her shitless. 

"Come on, Lewis. I've got things to see and people to do." 

Darcy grabbed her bag and hurried after Stark. He lead her down the hall and into what was obviously a private elevator if the lack of Kenny G and the addition of KISS was any indication. And though he didn't appear to be watching her, she knew that there wasn't a single thing about her that he was missing. 

"So seriously, kid, what's your play here?" he asked as the elevator shot them into the higher levels of the tower. "Political science?"

Darcy shrugged, leaning against the hand rail. "Seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Why are you after a tech job?"

She sighed, brushing her hair back behind her ear. "Double majored. Poli sci and Computer Science, leaning toward cybersecurity. Figured that was where I could do the most good... But then I got waylaid."

"That's fascinating, but it doesn't answer my question. Why do you want _this_ job?"

Darcy arched a brow in Tony's direction. "Honestly, I dont even know what exactly this job _is_ other than something to do with babysitting and maybe a server farm and it could possibly be at a satellite location." She shrugged again. "Jane worries about me when she's not trying to break the universe."

"Don't you mean save?"

"Sometimes thats the same thing with Jane. I'm guessing that she thinks wherever this is will be safe enough for me."

Darcy could practically feel Stark's eyes boring holes into her. "You two are close." Statement, not a question.

"I take care of her, she takes care of me. Usually."

The elevator doors opened before Tony could continue that line of questioning (for which she was eternally grateful), and he lead her into what her brain considered to be some sort of computer lab, but it wasn't like any she had ever seen. She'd seen a holographic UI in use, once, and had drooled over it ever since, so being in the same room as one was like a wet dream come true. In a perfect world, Tony would leave her alone and let her play in this playground for a lifetime or two, but Darcy's world was anything but perfect, so she had to hurry to catch up to him.

"Well, babysitter," he said, flipping on a couple of traditional monitors. "Before I can tell you more about this job, I need to make sure you can do it."

"You totally stole that from _Inception_. Should I start calling you DiCaprio?"

"Please. He wishes he had as many Victoria's Secret models as me."

"Ew."

"Like you didn't already know about that."

"Dude, there needs to be a line. There are some things that people don't need to know about their prospective employers."

"Are you trying to tell me that Foster doesn't spill about Thunder Buns?"

If she'd been drinking something, Darcy would have definitely done a spit take. "Excuse me... _Thunder Buns_?" 

“It fits. Have you _seen_ that ass?”

Darcy dropped her bag onto a table with a smirk, shrugging her way out of her very prim and proper thrift store jacket. “I have seen more than just that ass, actually, but that still doesn’t negate the weirdness of you calling him Thunder Buns.” She draped it over a chair and turned to Stark. “So, what are we doing here?” 

“Your audition?” He smirked then himself, throwing one arm out to encompass everything in the room. “All of this needs to be fixed. So fix it. Everything you need should be in here.”

“What if something is missing?”

“FRIDAY?”

Darcy almost jumped out of her skin when a disembodied voice answered Tony’s summons. “ _Yes, Sir? _”__

“Get Lewis here anything she asks for. But run it by me first.”

“ _Of course, Sir._ ”

Darcy couldn’t help herself. “So I guess Siri was already taken?”

Tony was already heading back toward the elevator. “You know what, Lewis? You’re a smartass. I like that.”

“Yeah, you would. So how long do I have?”

“However long it takes.” And with that, he was gone. 

Darcy didn’t waste any time, kicking off the shoes that were pinching her feet. “Hey, FRIDAY?”

“ _Yes, Miss Lewis?_ ” The AI’s lilting Irish accent was actually pretty pleasant. If she ever had the opportunity to pick apart the coding, she’d maybe see if she could make a virtual personal assistant for herself- but with an Australian accent. There wasn’t anything sexier than an Australian accent.

“Can you access the playlists on my iPod, or is there somewhere special I need to plug it in? A job like this requires tunes.”

“ _I can access them. Which would you like me to play?_ ”

“Let’s start with ‘9-to-5’ and see where that takes us,” she said as she pulled her hair back into a ponytail. It was time to get to work.

* * *

Tony had intended to rejoin Pepper in her office to go over exactly why she’d all but hired Busty McHotGirl on the spot (he wasn’t an idiot all the time, he’d seen Lewis’s name on the intake paperwork before he’d set foot in Pepper’s office), but she was on a conference call to someone in Taipei. If he went in there now, she’d make him participate and it wasn’t that he _couldn’t_ run his company, it was just that he didn’t want to. He was a mechanic. He fixed stuff. That was what he did, it was who he was. Sitting behind a desk, negotiating contracts and dealing with the things that made his company run smoothly wasn’t his cup of tea, which is why he let other people handle things like that. So, rather than disturb her, he diverted himself to his private lab.

“FRIDAY, pull up the video feed on Lewis and keep it running in the background.”

He watched her work for a moment after the video feed flickered to life (another thing to pull apart, break down, make better, but it was something he’d had on his to-do list for a while, so he’d just have to bump it up a few spots). “She’s singing. Is she singing? What song is that?”

“ _Hot Stuff by Donna Summers, Sir._ ”

He pulled a face, muttering mostly to himself. “Not my taste, but to each their own.” He turned his attention to other projects, new upgrades for Rhodey’s suit, plans for a suit for Pepper (had to protect her, keep her safe, nothing safer than a suit) before the video feed caught his attention again. Lewis had three of the computers pulled apart and it looked like- yes, she was soldering. Huh.

“FRIDAY, did Pepper run a background check on Lewis?”

“ _Of course, Sir._ ”

“Let me see it. And let me know when Pepper’s done with the Asians.”

* * *

Pepper had been expecting Tony's visit from the second he'd left her office with Darcy- Miss Lewis, she had to remember to think of her as Miss Lewis, even if she had heard enough about the young woman from Jane that it felt as though she knew her- in tow. While she wasn't necessarily someone who believed that a trial by fire was the best way to introduce a person to a work environment, when it came to Tony it was probably best. He was difficult on his best days and if Darcy was going to last longer than a day, it was better to learn that quickly. 

"So are we hiring within the ranks now?"

Pepper smiled internally. She was definitely prepared for this. "Is the man who inherited his company complaining about a little nepotism?"

She hazarded a glance away from the email she was composing to see the way his brows pulled down and his lips pursed. “I didn’t say that.”

“Good.”

“But seriously, why’d you call in the kid?”

“Is she not performing to your standard?”

Tony snorted, flopping into a chair. “No. She’s doing better than I expected.”

Pepper saved her work and turned her full attention to the man before her. “Good. I think she’ll be a wonderful fit for the project.”

“With her mouth? Capsicle will be questioning whether or not I’ve spawned.” Tony sat up a little straighter then, leaning in with mild concern creasing his brow. “Do we have a lab we trust for that sort of thing because I have to say-”

“She’s not your daughter, Tony.”

“Oh, thank Christ.” His relief was palpable. Pepper couldn’t help but smile at it.

“Dr. Foster suggested her because she has an aptitude for the work, she’s smart enough to figure out solutions on her own and humble enough to ask for help when she needs it.”

“But?”

“But she’s also a known associate of Thor.”

“So it’s a mutually beneficial thing. She gets protection and a paycheck, we get a multipurpose helper monkey.”

“If that’s the way you’d like to look at it.”

“That’s the way I’ll have to sell it. Capsicle isn’t going to like a civilian on the base.”

“She may not have training, but she’s hardly a civilian. She’s been at the epicenter of two alien invasions.”

Tony sniffed, standing as he made to leave. “I’ll talk to Widow. See if we can train her up some. Even if her musical taste is…” He shuddered.

“That bad?”

“ _Disco_ , Pep. She’s playing disco in my lab. It’s sacrilege.”

“Well, there’s no accounting for taste, Tony.”

He swept around Pepper’s desk to press a kiss to her cheek. “Are you going to be late tonight?”

Her smile softened, the CEO mask slipping to make room for Pepper the Girlfriend. “Not too late. Italian tonight?”

“Sounds awesome. I’ll get the cannoli you like.”

“Cannelloni. Please don’t order me a dessert as an entree.”

He waved a hand in her direction. “It’s only happened once-”

“Three times.”

“-three times. I’ll get it eventually.”

Pepper smiled fondly at the door as it closed behind him. Loving a genius was tough, but someone had to do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, unbeat'd. I own nothing. All mistakes are mine.


	3. Chapter 3

"Ten minutes, Sleeping Beauty! Time to wake up." 

Darcy jumped at the ETA Happy called over his shoulder into the backseat of the Town Car. It was one of Tony's (because he'd insisted she start calling him that, saying they were "friends now, right?" She wasn't so sure about that part, but she knew better than to argue semantics with the guy who electronically signed her paychecks) personal vehicles, driven personally by his personal friend/driver/(former?) bodyguard to ensure that she personally arrived there safely. Which was nice and all, but probably more a matter of her arriving period. 

She could navigate the desert like a champ. She could weave her way through London, no problem. But here in the Eastern Woodlands, everything around her looked exactly the same and when she had driven north from Virginia, most of her belongings packed in the trunk and back seat of her hand-me-down Civic, she'd gotten lost. Twice. So after spending a solid ten minutes laughing in her face and another two days making jokes at her expense, her new boss had decided that having Happy chauffeur her to the facility where she would be working and shipping her car up at a later date was probably the best way to get her there "without reenacting the _Texas Chainsaw Massacre_." Solid plan, really, because neither death by power tool nor getting lost in the woods like Hansel and Gretel were items on her bucket list. 

She pulled her glasses off her face and rubbed her eyes before remembering that, hey, she was wearing eye make up that day in a bid to look more like a real life grown up. The curse she hissed was soft, but still loud enough for Happy to hear. He laughed and for a solid ten seconds she disliked him, but that passed as soon as she pulled out her compact to repair the damage she'd done to what she was thinking of as her war paint. "How long was I out?"

He shrugged, glancing at her in the rear view mirror. "Forty-five minutes. Kept telling someone named Baker to be a good boy." 

Darcy pouted for a second and sighed. "I miss that guy." It was impossible to miss Happy's curiosity, so she continued. "I maybe-kinda-sorta stole a bunch of animals from a local pet store when Thor's brother sent a space deathbot to New Mexico."

" A space deathbot." 

This was probably one of those things that SHIELD had made her promise she wouldn't ever talk about. Oh well. "Yeah. It shot fire out of its face. We evacuated the town, but like... no one thought of the puppies and the kittens in the pet store and they would have been barbecue if I hadn't stolen them."

"So who's Baker?" 

"One of the puppies. He was cute. He kept giving me kisses."

"You get in trouble for it? "

Darcy snorted as she patched her face back together as best she could. "Nah. I'm pretty sure SHIELD paid the owner off, but I was definitely persona non grata there until we left."

"I’m guessing that’s the result of committing larceny. What'd you do with all the animals?" 

"Gave them away. I had Jane, what did I need another pet for?" The fact that her semi-serious joke was met with a knowing not spoke volumes about the kind of shenanigans Happy had put up with from Tony in the years he'd been with the billionaire. 

When the car stopped and Darcy looked up again, they were parked before a building that would have been any completely bland and generic warehouse if it hadn't been for the enormous letter A on the front. That was... Was she...? 

Darcy was still staring at the front of the building when Happy came around and opened her door for her. "Rides over, everybody out."

"You sure?" 

"Yeah."

"Happy... This is the Avengers."

"Your powers of observation are astounding, Darce."

"No, I mean, they live here. And like, train here and everything."

"Generally, yeah."

"No, Happy. _Actual_ superheroes are inside that building right now."

"That's usually how it works when you live in a place. Come on."

Darcy took the hand offered to her but stayed near the open door, goggling at the building before her while Happy unloaded her bags from the trunk. "Is... Is Tony fucking with me? Because I've been fucked with before and this feels like he's fucking with me."

Happy closed the trunk of the car and leaned against it, mouth opening to undoubtedly answer her question (or call her an idiot, that was equally as likely) when the increasingly familiar roar of repulsors sounded in the distance. Happy's mouth snapped shut as he folded his arms across his chest. "He doesn’t normally have me drive someone hours into the countryside just to fuck with them, but who knows. Let's ask the man himself."

Tony, naturally, was on point that day. "Hanging out in a parking lot? What is this, high school?"

Luckily for her, Darcy was as well. "I'm sorry, I was unaware that we were suddenly living in a John Hughes movie. Is this Shermer? Are we in Shermer now?"

"That's it. Dishonor on you, Lewis. Dishonor on your cow."

Darcy wanted to hit him with a snappy comeback, but his sudden quoting of _Mulan_ threw her off her game. "Whatever, Mushu. But seriously. Actual superheroes live here, so I am here why exactly?”

Tony pulled a pair of sunglasses out of somewhere (she wasn’t about to ask where he kept his emergency shades) and slipped them on. “I’m going to pretend I’m not mildly offended by not being included in the ‘actual superheroes’ group. You know I’ve saved the world, right? Couple of times?”

“You might have mentioned that once or twice, Speshul Snowflake. Join the club.”

Darcy didn’t need to see Tony’s eyes roll to feel it as he moved past and took one of her bags from Happy. “To answer your question, Ingrate, you are here to be my eyes. And ears. And hands.”

She watched as he fought with the retracting handle on her bag for a few seconds before he gave up and looked to his driver for help. Happy wordlessly hit the button and pulled the handle into place before passing her the other one. “You should be proud I’m not saying anything about the hands comment.”

“I am, kid, trust me. I knew that was a bad phrasing choice the minute I said it.”

“So I really am here to babysit.”

“You really are.”

Darcy let Tony lead for a seconds before she hurried to catch up. “Two questions. Which, yes, I probably should have asked before this moment. One, what-slash-whom am I babysitting exactly? And two, does anyone actually in residence here know that I am going to be here or am I going to have to handle the awkward introductions myself?”

Tony didn’t answer either of her questions. He just smirked in her direction and used his thumb on an optical pad to open the door. That was probably a bad sign.

**Author's Note:**

> [This is my tumblr.](http://staceywacey.tumblr.com/) I'm basically Marvel trash at this point, but saying hi is nice. :)


End file.
